Stephen Metcalfe - Writer & Director

A work in progress. Most excellent title courtesy of David Kanter

@CTUALITY

EXT. MANHATTAN - THE UPPER EAST SIDE - MORNING
A luxury brownstone. Uniformed doorman. The usual morning traffic on Park Avenue.
PETER BRODY, a bluff, florid, well dressed man steps out of the building His town car is a waiting cross the street but Brody takes a moment to lighgt a cigar. A truck pulls in front of him.
BRODY
Goddammit - what’s this all about?
DOORMAN
Nothing I can do about, Mr. Brody.
Grumbling, Brody steps around the parked truck, out into the street - and a delivery boy on a bicycle yells a warning and veering to miss him, slams into a parked car. He falls badly. Instead of helping him, Brody laughs. He steps into the street -
- and immediately is knocked out of the frame by a speeding garbage truck.
EXT. MANHATTAN - NIGHT
Lightening bursts - - to reveal -
A terminator-like world of the future. Ravaged buildings. The sky is crying acid rain. A battle platform hovers past, cannons firing, destroying everything in its path.
From the ruins, soldiers fire back with blasters. One of the soldiers now shouts out -
SOLDIER
Cover me!
He turns and runs, evading laser blasts. Behind him, his fellow soldiers die horribly.
INT. A BUNKER - NIGHT
The soldier enters a rusting metal bunker filled with exhausted, ragged men and sad faced women and children. He moves wordlessly past them. He moves to a metal door at the end of the bunker, opens it and enters into -
A SMALL BATHROOM
He closes the door behind him. Putting down his blaster, he drops his pants, sits on the toilet and sighs with relief as he takes a noisy dump. Finished, he reaches out - only to discover there’s no toilet paper. He sits there, not sure what to do. And now we hear -
VOICE OVER
Silky soft, lemon scented Tizzy. Don’t let yourself be caught unprepared.
Fade to black. Lights come up as we pull back. We’re:
INT. SCREENING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Silence. Preppie looking ANDY BARRETT, 20’s and leather clad SEAN MACNAMARA, 30, turn to MARISA FABRIANI, 30, who is looks... thoughtful. Andy and Sean have a way of overlapping each others thoughts...
ANDY
What do you think?
(a moment)
Marisa?
SEAN
Not quite what the client asked for.
ANDY
- or is expecting -
SEAN
(who is gay)
Jeremy - the director - English -
- to die for -
ANDY
- he wanted to take it in a little bit of a different direction.
MARISA
It’s supposed to be about toilet paper.
ANDY
It is.
MICHELE
Andy, no it’s not, it’s about the end of the world, it’s about starving children with five mile stares. It’s -
Her cell phone rings. She answers it.
MARISA
Marisa. Oh, my God... when? Of course. Yes - I’ll - we’ll be there.
She hangs up, stunned. Then:
MARISA
Peter Brody got hit by a truck in front of his apartment building this morning. He’s dead.
EXT. WINGED FOOT GOLF CLUB - MORNING
The forth tee. A cell phone rings in the middle of LEON WARECHOVSKI’S backswing and he tops the ball.
LEON
Son of a - ! No cell phones on the damn golf course!
PLAYING PARTNER
It’s yours, Leon.
Leon, 60’s, moves to his cart picks up his cell phone.
LEON
(answering)
This better be good. What is this, a joke? Oh, that stupid bastard. Yeah, okay, yeah. See you then.
PLAYING PARTNER 2
What happened, Leon?
LEON
My stupid partner’s toast.
PLAYING PARTNER 1
What are you gonna do?
LEON
(considering a moment)
I’m gonna take mulligan.
He moves back towards the tee.
INT. AN EXPENSIVE MID-TOWN RESTAURANT - DAY
The usual lunch crowd. JUSTIN LOWENSTEIN, handsome, late 20’s, wears a Ermenegildo Zegna suit. He is pitching two badly dressed, overweight mid-western businessmen on -
JUSTIN
@ctuality. Reality with an Ampersand. Connection to the world. The South Dakota Beef Council. The World.
His tiny, state of the art cell phone vibrates.
JUSTIN
I’m sorry. Mind if I take this?
Lowenstein. You’re not serious.
(then:)
Oh, yeah, I’ll be there.
He disconnects - he looks thoughtful.
MAN 1
Something wrong?
JUSTIN
Hmm? No, just the opposite. Who wants wine with lunch?
INT. A FILM SET - DAY
A commercial shoot with about fifty babies and their attendant mothers. Babies everywhere; crying, shitting, wandering and puking. The director is losing it.
DIRECTOR
No one said there would be real babies!
A cell phone rings. It belongs to EDDIE PERRY, Arican American, late 20’s.
EDDIE
Hello. Who? He’s around somewhere - hold on. Anybody seen Aiden!?
IN A DRESSING ROOM - CONTINUOUS
AIDEN ANDERSON, 30, and an attractive young woman are making passionate, half dressed love; Aiden taking her from behind. There is a knock on the door. They freeze, panting.
INTERCUT: OUTSIDE THE DOOR - CONTINUOUS
EDDIE
Aiden, you in there?
AIDEN
What is it?
EDDIE
Phone call. from the office. It’s Leon. He says it’s important.
THE GIRL
(a whisper; begging)
No... oh, please, no....
AIDEN
Coming!
He picks up his pace with the girl.
ON THE SET
Aiden takes the phone from Eddie.
EDDIE
Wish you’d get your own.
AIDEN
Why, when I have yours? Leon, what’s up? What? No way. How? Shit. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Leon? I’m sorry.
Aiden hangs up.
EDDIE
What happened?
AIDEN
It’s Peter Brody...
(trying to keep a straight face)
He got killed by a garbage truck.
Eddie reacts as if someone slipped on a banana.
EDDIE
Is the truck okay?
They both break up. Then:
EDDIE
The director just quit.
Aiden surveys the howling babies.
AIDEN
Go get me a view finder, will you?
Edie turns away - still laughing.
EDDIE
All right, people, we’re shooting a commercial here!
AIDEN
(a last chuckle:)
Ah, me.
He moves towards the set.