Stephen Metcalfe - Writer and Director

WORLD OF THEIR OWN

Scene 1
Rain. The occasional gust of wind. Three men and a woman, all around 20, sit on a tee box bench, ragged golf bags on pull carts around them or behind them. Their clubs are not remotely matched sets.
There is the long heavy branch of a Torrey Pine overhead that provides some shelter. There is an overturned trashcan nearby. There is trash and branches on the ground.
Billy wears a T-shirt, cut-off camouflage pants, Marine desert boots and a ball cap backwards. He has a bandage wrapped around his forearm.
Teacher John, a black man, wears glasses, enormously baggy shorts, a football jersey and has a silly looking Kangol cap on, also backwards.
Blue, very much the ex-captain of his high school football team, wears jeans and a long sleeve polo shirt. Blue is hatless with a “high fade”.
Leanne is beside Blue, close and leaning against him.
Silence. More silence. Finally:

BILLY
Aw, man, can we get the fuck out of here, please.
No reaction.
BILLY (cont’d)
Blue? The fuck out of here can we get, please?
BLUE
It’s gonna stop.
BILLY
Do you seen even a hint of blue sky? Do you? Teacher John?
TEACHER JOHN
Blue says it’s gonna stop, it’s gonna stop.
BILLY
Aw, what, he’s the fucking weather man? A sprinkle, it’s gonna let the fuck up?
TEACHER JOHN
It’s a balmy day in Scotland.
BILLY
Scotland. What the fuck do you know about fucking Scotland, you dumb fuck?
TEACHER JOHN
(unconcerned)
It’s the home of golf.
BILLY
Scotland.
TEACHER JOHN
They invented the game.
BILLY
Well, fuck them.
LEANNE
Your parents ever have any children that lived, Billy?
BILLY
Ha-ha. You know, you can shut up?
LEANNE
You know, you can go home?
BILLY
What, and leave you?
BLUE
Let’s tone down the profanity, Billy, sit tight and have a beer.
BILLY
Beer. You brought beer?
BLUE
In your golf bag.
BILLY
My bag?
BLUE
Uh-huh.
BILLY
The bag I carried to the car and to the driving range and to the club house.
BLUE
Uh-huh.
BILLY
The bag I’ve been have been draggin’ all over this goddamn, fucking golf course?
BLUE
Two six packs.
BILLY
No wonder the fucking thing weighs a ton!
BLUE
You want a beer or not?
BILLY
Well, fuck yeah.
LEANNE
So now you’re going to stop complaining?
BILLY
(cracking a beer)
No. Now I’m gonna start drinking. Sitting is sitting doing nothing, drinking is sitting doing something.
Teacher John rises, gets beers for himself and Blue.
TEACHER JOHN
Leanne?
LEANNE
No, thank you.
Silence. More silence. Billy sighs.
BILLY
Well, here we are again, contemplating our dicks.
LEANNE
(a beat; softly)
Not all of us.
A shorter silence; then:
TEACHER JOHN
You know, of course, Leanne, that the female clitoris is directly homologous to the male penis. However unlike the penis, the clitoris functions solely to induce sexual pleasure. The only known exception to this is the Spotted Hyena.
A moment as they consider this.
LEANNE
I think... it’s pronounced clitoris, Teacher.
TEACHER JOHN
Hmmm. I would suggest this is subject to interpretation. For example, in German it is der Kitzler meaning "the tickler".
BLUE
Teacher John, I think that’s enough lessons on female anatomy for the time being.
BILLY
Yeah, go read some more Wikipedia, you dumb dick. Pretend you’re smart.
Silence. Billy rubbing at the bandage on his arm, uncomfortable.
BILLY (cont’d)
Fuckin’ rain.
(Then:)
You didn’t think to pack some Fritoes or jerky or cheese whiz, did you?
BLUE
Afraid not.
BILLY
Just asking.
(Then:)
Shit.
Silence. More silence.
TEACHER JOHN
Well, just to keep the conversation going and nothing else, I find it interesting that Afghan tribesmen play polo with human heads.
BILLY
Oh, you had to bring that up.
TEACHER JOHN
It seems pertinent to our pending situation.
BLUE
It’s called Buzkashi, Teacher, and it’s not played with a human head, it’s played with a headless goat.
TEACHER JOHN
I stand corrected; as I was.
BILLY
Hah! Big difference. You see the NFL playing football with a headless goat? Bullshit. Anybody can call that a game, can tongue my freckled balls.
LEANNE
Billy!
BILLY
What? All I’m saying, Leanne, is you just know psycho sons of bitches like that are gonna fight like motherfuckers.
BLUE
And they will lose.
TEACHER JOHN
(toasting)
Marines. Many Americans Running Into Never Ending Shit.
All of them, not loud: Oorah.
BLUE
Yeah, well... it’s all I ever wanted to do.
BILLY
Shit. It’s all I could do.
LEANNE
Teacher John?
TEACHER JOHN
Well, I thought it’d be kind of meaningful if not interesting, to be part of a long line of Quaker noncombatants.
BILLY
Quaker. Since when can a dark green Marine be a goddamn oatmeal eatin’ Quaker?
TEACHER JOHN
Well, this is an interesting story, if you’d care to listen.
BILLY
Oh, I got a choice now?
TEACHER JOHN
During the American Civil War, many Quakers opened their homes to the Underground Railroad. The Quaker, Levi Coffin, was known as it’s president. In 1843, the runaway slaves who would become the begetters of my family, passed through his house. In honor of the man, they took his name. We have been Coffins, and in spirit, Quakers ever since. The truth of it is, we’re Baptists.
BILLY
Well, shit, I can’t even make fun of that.
LEANNE
Are you religious, Billy?
BILLY
Shit, I don’t know. I’m a Christian, I guess. No choice in the matter. But no one ever said anything about being a pacifist to me.
BLUE
Maybe you weren’t listening close enough.
BILLY
Nothing to listen to. You think Mohammed going to the freakin’ mountain is a trip, you’ve never seen a white trash Texas housewife, rollin’ in the mud, pawing her crotch and speaking in tongues.
BLUE
Hmm. I think I’d like to.
LEANNE
(a giggle)
Quiet, boy.
TEACHER JOHN
What about you, Leanne, what is your faith of choice?
LEANNE
(la-de-dah))
I... am a Catholic.
(a teasing glance at Blue)
A very sinful Catholic.
BLUE
Best kind.
LEANNE
And you?
BLUE
All I know, is at the age of three months, the minister who was baptizing me, dropped my ass, I rolled under a church pew and for a good three days, they couldn’t find me.
LEANNE
And when they did find you?
BLUE
They were so were so overjoyed, they baptized me a Marine.
BILLY
(Toasting; grinning)
U.S. Marine Corp! Unlimited Shit Mass Confusion!
All of them: Oorah!
Lightchange as Teacher John rises and moves forward to address the audience.
TEACHER JOHN
Marines, first division. One of the two U.S. land forces in the 2003 invasion of Iraq. The division fought their way through the Rumelia oil fields, faked towards Basrah, moved north on Highway 1 to An Nasariyah, a Shiite city near Talil Airfield. Then they fought there way into Baghdad and went on to secure Tikri. 808 kilometers in 17 days, the deepest penetrating ground operation in Marine Corps history. On May first, 2003, during a televised address by President George Bush, a banner was displayed on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln - Mission Accomplished. Such was not quite the case. The division deployed back to Iraq in February ‘04 and took control of the Al Anbar province in western Iraq. They stayed until March ‘05, when they were relieved by 2nd Division. This was the largest tactical relief operation in the history of the Marine Corps. Mission accomplished. No, afraid not. In ‘06, they were sent back to Iraq as the ground combat element, once again, Al Anbar province. In 08’, First Division troops moved into the Helmand province of Afghanistan - the world's largest opium-poppy region - a region controlled by the Taliban. We haven’t left either place. Mission not accomplished. Not yet.
(a beat)
The difficult we do quickly. The impossible may take a little time.